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Monday, August 17, 2020

7 Ways Costco is Better Than Saks

1. Size matters
2. Mannequins don't do it for you anymore
3. Better excuse for disastrous fashion choices 
4. No dressing room means clothing optional 
5. Ugly sweaters available year-round
6. Volume discount on free samples 
7. Plus-size clothing not hidden behind door of shame 

Sunday, August 16, 2020

11 Grammar Mistakes Sure to Drive Her Wild

1. Apostrophe's 
2. Runonsentences/words
3. Overuse of...ellipses 
4. Mispeling
5. Your 2nd person
6. To pointlessly split infinitives
7. Dangling parts
8. Mad skillz
9. &mpersands
10. Pig Latin
11. Comic Sans

Darnedest Things Children Say

1. The truth
2. "I love you"
3. Fart noises
4. Silly nonsense
5. Wry observations
6. Clean jokes
7. Adorable mispronounciations
8. Circular logic
9. "Why?"
10. The opposite of whatever you say
11. Blithe ignorance of double entendres (eg NutCheese)

11 Tings You'll Never Hear A Fox Say

1. Booyah! 
2. Sup? 
3. LOL 
4. Supercalifragalisticexpialadocious 
5. Ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting
6. Zoinks! 
7. Yabba dabba doo 
8. Four score and seven years ago 
9. Meow 
10. Swiper no swiping 
11. You sunk my battleship

Scandalous Words That Almost Rhyme With Listicle

1. Littoral 
2. Unprintable 
3. Hermeneutical 
4. Patrilocal 
5. Urinal 
6. Spiracle 
7. Indictable 
 8. Immiscible 
9. Fissile 
10. Radical 
11. Maniacal 
12. Spermicidal 
13. Pitiful 
14. Sophistical 
15. Abysmal 
16. Entitled 
17. Dill pickle 
18. Fickle 
19. Diacritical 
20. Satirical 
21. Local yokel 
22. Choke hold 
23. Rabbinical 
24. Umbilical 
25. Chicken Little 
26. Ben Stiller 
27. McGonigel 
28. French tickle 
29. Dirk Diggler 
30. Wiggle 
31. Suspicious freckle 
32. Don Rickles 
33. Chortling chuckle 
34. Fuggle 
35. Muggle 
36. Nesticle

The One Picture Worse Than Your Yearbook Photo

1. Obituary

Quiz: Who's Yo Daddy?

True or false?
1. Wandering Aramean
2. Dude named Darth
3. Nut Brown Hare
4. Literally or figuratively?
5. Depends who's asking
6. Papi Chulo
7. Prisoner 24601
8. Secret will be revealed on my 18th birthday
9. Founding Fathers
10. Yo mama!
11. Sam, Harry, and Bill
12. A lingerie catalog and a tub of Nutty Cow

Scoring: 1 point for each right answer