1. Hide
2. Camouflage with Lacoste shirt
3. Pinch self, hope to wake up
4. Swim in non-crocodile-infested waters
5. Put on Crocs before running
6. Tell them you're vegan
7. Don't taste like chicken
8. Renounce fealty to Captain Hook
9. Wrestle crocodiles your own size
10. It can only come with experience
11. Beg for mercy
12. Ask yourself what would Steve Irwin do
13. When given choice between Nutty Cow or life, flip coin
