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Monday, August 11, 2014

12 Clues You Might Not Be Alive

1. You feel worms crawling inside your skull
2. You have wings
3. You can't remember the last time you had an in-body experience
4. Your house is only haunted whenever you're in it
5. Your dating preferences have changed so now you only see dead people
6. Your gravestone says so
7. All your organs are inside other people
8. You're no longer being asked to pay taxes
9. Certain foods used to go right through you; now they all do
10. You've argued with Dante about the inaccuracies in his book
11. The only time people don't run away from you is Halloween
12. You've achieved 100% weight loss
13. You're cursed to wander the earth without eating Nutty Cow