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Saturday, August 30, 2014

9 Things Better Than Marrying Bacon

1. Committed long term relationship without oppressive labels & cultural baggage
2. Being alone with your dignity intact
3. Whatever the opposite of heart disease is
4. Loving someone so much you're willing never to eat them again
5. Not being embarrassed to bring your date to a Bar Mitzvah  
6. Seeking professional help
7. Find someone else within six degrees of separation
8. Being asked "What do you do for protein?" the rest of your life
9. Running away at the altar with Nutty Cow